We are currently in a month-long stay in an Airbnb property in the French countryside just a bit north of Bordeaux. When this stay ends, it will conclude a two-month visit to Europe that has already included a twelve-day cruise (Venice to Istanbul) a seven-day river cruise out of Bordeaux, and a few days in the center of Bordeaux. The “house” in which we are staying is a converted barn, and our hosts Fanny and Paul are just fifty feet away in their home.
[Below is an excerpt from my upcoming book A Month in the French Countryside — The true story of two mid-70s widows who wanted to experience the French “joie de vie”]
They invited us one evening to have dinner with them and the family. We started with appetizers outside, the main items being cheeses, meats, olives, and grapes on a charcuterie board that Sharon assembled. We started with a bottle of sparkling white prosecco, and then Paul brought out the pink prosecco that we had given to Fanny for her birthday the previous week. Her Mom and their three children (plus one of the daughter’s friends) joined us briefly outside to grab some eats.
Later we went inside for dinner at a large heavy wooden rectangular table. As we were eating Paul called out their younger son, Maximillian (about 13) to put his hands on or above the table. I looked at Paul, and his response was that the French custom is that your hands are either palm down on the table or above the table with utensils in hand. That is definitely different from what I was taught at a young age by my mother; no elbows on the table EVER, and hands below the table unless using them to eat.
I was now curious. According to The Etiquette Consultant in a 2018 post:
As with most etiquette guidelines, particularly table manners, there is a historical trail behind the rule and in this case, it was a political reason. In the XVII Century, Louis XIV discovered a conspiracy to poison him with arsenic. Concerned that one of his guests at the dining table would try to kill him, he ordered that everyone keep their hands visible and placed on the table throughout every meal. As people wanted to imitate the aristocracy at that time, the rest of the country soon followed suit.
Mystery solved, and a new custom learned!
Happy Travels!
Stuart
Stuart Gustafson is America’s International Travel Expert® who speaks on cruise ships, writes novels, and loves everything about travel. Visit his website at www.stuartgustafson.com. You can also connect with him and other travelers on his International Travel Expert page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/International-Travel-Expert-147321228683651/
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